People often assume that public speaking or communication coaching is about confidence, charisma, or helping people “shine.” This is a common goal and , let's face it- this approach sells well and makes everyone feel good.
I know that I didn’t step into this work to make people more polished, or more impressive, or to turn them into 'leaders'. I did it because I have seen — in my own life and in the lives of others — how poor communication quietly erodes relationships, opportunities, and belonging, even when intentions are good.
At its core, everything I do as a communication trainer, educator, and coach is about one thing: connection.
For a long time, I believed that if I was honest, competent, and well-intentioned, communication would take care of itself. It doesn’t. I also believed that my level of education, an open mind, many languages and my extroverted personality would make it possible to have great interactions and relations with people.
However, looking back on my last 20 years of student and professional life, I admit that I have lost opportunities to connect and learn, and not because I lacked expertise, but because my message or 'good intention' didn’t land.
Like many people, I had to learn to find a balance between confidence and humility, values and flexibility, as well as courage and relationship awareness.
It has been one of the most defining journeys of my life because it is precisely the learning of communication skills that allow me today to connect with people across cultures, generations, professional backgrounds, and even deeply opposing social or political viewpoints.
This isn’t a personality trait. I wasn't born to be especially diplomatic or communicative.
It’s a skill set.
One of the greatest challenges of our time is loneliness — and it’s only growing. Loneliness doesn’t only affect the elderly. It affects young professionals, managers, freelancers, parents, extroverts, introverts — people surrounded by others and people living alone. It affected those that are married, and those who are single. Kids with wonderful parents and kids in amazing schools. It is truly a problem of our time.
We often talk about loneliness as a social or technological problem. Rarely do we talk about it as a communication problem. Because many people struggle to connect, to maintain connection, and to repair it when it breaks. They can meet others but they can't connect in meaningful ways.
One of the most powerful ways to counter loneliness is to become a great communicator.
Not just for our own benefit, but for those around us who don’t yet have the skills, confidence, or language to do so. This is where interpersonal communication truly matters.
Most communication breakdowns don’t come from bad intentions, ego, or difficult personalities.
They come from how we speak, listen, and show up. Would you like to know what are the most common communication mistakes we make and that can be improved and learned?
Contact me and I will send you my One pager on 'Why we fail to connect'!
Whether you're stepping into an interview, walking into a negotiation, or standing in front of an audience, the way you communicate matters. Most of my work is about helping people master the art of public communication so they can show up with clarity, confidence, and purpose — no matter the stakes.
Here’s a list of specific intentions and functions of communication that are relevant for anyone:
Inform Clearly
Can you deliver your message in a way that’s structured, engaging, and easy to understand? From breaking down complex ideas to delivering important updates, you need to know how to speak so people get it — and remember it.
Persuade Effectively
Want to shift opinions or inspire a change in behavior? You need to develop the skills to present your ideas convincingly and authentically, whether you're pitching an idea, leading a meeting, or advocating for a cause.
Motivate Action
Words can move people. Do you know how to speak in a way that energizes, uplifts, and calls your audience to action — be it your team, a hiring panel, or a room full of strangers?
Build Trust and Connection
Strong communication builds strong relationships. You need to know and use techniques that help you connect with your audience, build credibility, and leave a lasting impression.
Shape Perception
How you communicate influences how you’re perceived. I can help you take control of your narrative and present yourself — and your message — in the best possible light. We sometimes forget that credibility is key for any message to sink in.
Raise Awareness
Sometimes you need to shine a light on what matters most. Whether you’re championing a cause or educating others, you need to learn how to create curiosity, compassion, and engagement through your content and storytelling.
Meet the Moment
From formal speeches to impromptu interactions, high-stakes communication is part of modern life. The biggest mistake we commit as communicators today is that we forget to prepare for situations we go into. It seems like we have no time, but even 5 minutes with a good prep technique will make all the difference.
Would you like to know more about my services and how I can help you or your team? Find a spot in my calendar here.
Was I always as excited about networking as I am today? Obviously, not.
As a young, outgoing Croatian living and studying in Madrid, life was all about going out, studying, part-time working and meeting new people. When you are in your 20s and 30s, people come in and out of your life all the time, especially if you live in a big city. If you also move around a lot, you will probably loose touch with the majority of those people. In short, you can be surrounded by people in one stage of your life and then be alone somewhere down the road and wonder: what has just happened?
For me, meeting people has always come easy and Madrid was the best training ground. The Spanish are naturally gregarious and they will use any opportunity to chat (or chat you up!). I was ( and still am) quite confident and bubbly, so meeting new people gives me energy. But when I was younger, most of these interactions was with my peers. I wasn't interested in expanding my circle beyond my fellow youngsters from university, work or weekend parties. I didn't call this ebb and flow of people networking and it never occurred to me that these people I now knew by name or by sight were people in my network. I had no idea that one day there could be opportunities from this network such as access to information, connections, jobs or business.
When you are young, and starting your career, you may think that a job is something the government provides, or you find yourself because of your studies or CV. Maybe your family has a business or some good connections, so it seems like things will work out easily. The sheer amount of time and effort it takes to find opportunities - that never struck me until I was older. As a naive 20-something, I had a University diploma, and some work experience. I spoke three languages (in Spain!) and the world was to be my oyster. But, as most of us know, it's not that easy. Finding a stable and interesting job was really hard. Contracts were short-term and the pay was low.
Networking came to the rescue. I was lucky in that I learned about networking from my mother, a professional diplomat with an excellent understanding of culture, a warm personality and a love for people. I only realised how valuable those lessons were much later. But most jobs I have had since I was in my late 20s and early 30s were due to networking. It wasn't usually my peers who freely and directly provided the information or opportunities. It was the older generation, who held the connections who knew someone, who in turn knew me. Being the right person at the right time in the right place meant everything.
Young people should be taught about the value of networking early. Networking is a skill that can help you throughout your life span, especially for work, but also for any situation when you might be on your own, like moving, starting to study or work, changing jobs...but also divorce and lost friendships. Networking is not primarily about business or getting a job, but rather about collecting and planting seeds, which may or may not grow later on. These seeds are not commercial exchanges, they are investments into your social capital.
These days, I feel like anything is possible when I realise that I do know a number of nice and interesting people and they know and trust me. We connect from time to time on a variety of topics, and sometimes years go by but the network is still there. I don't have a neighbourhood community, and my family of origin is far away, so networking gives me that sense of connection, an access to information, social ties and potential for friendship.
Let's tell our kids that networking is important, and teach them early on:
Most organisations have a process for recruiting new employees. Smaller organisations will sometimes do this in a spontaneous, even chaotic manner. There may be a person in charge of recruitment, or even an external recruitment consultant but, most often, it is the manager or a future colleague that will do the recruiting. That person may actually be you.
Since there is so much at stake when a recruitment is not successful, it surprises me that the recruitment process is often treated lightly. I know it can take a lot of time, and you have other (important) work to do. But quick and scattered recruitment will waste even more of your time, slow down your work, affect team atmosphere and damage motivation.
As a Communication Skills trainer, I also help my clients with the communication aspect of the recruitment process.So, here are some tips to improve your hiring process immediately:
Before deciding that you need to hire someone please make sure that you REALLY need to hire someone. Candidates love it when you need them, when there is a job to be done and when the job is clearly defined. Too many job announcements today look like an amalgam of two or three jobs, not making it clear which is the one job aspect or result that will make the most impact.
In the short run, you need someone to fill in a position. In the long run however, you need a series of specific results that an actual human can achieve with the resources you will provide. That should be clear from the job ad. Write it well!
2. FORGET THE HYPE. WHAT'S YOUR TYPE?
Decide whether this is a completely new position or if someone (anyone!) has already been successful in this exact job. If it's a new position, keep it realistic. If someone has already held the job, make sure you are not looking for exactly the same kind of person. This is not fair to the new candidate, since no two people are alike.
Consult with your people, especially direct colleagues about the type of person you need. Ask yourself: do I really need an a creative, self-starter as we stated in the job ad? Or will I resent them as soon as they come up with ideas? Think about what you need in terms of skills, experience, but most of all the personality style. Too many similar personalities in a small team may clash. Some people just don't work well together even if they work well apart.
Candidates can embellish their resume, can deliver a great interview, but most cannot pretend for long that they are someone else. You don't need fancy personality tests, just your own experience of what worked in the past and what did not.
3. TURN THE COMMS UP BEFORE HIRING
As soon as you have made a shortlist from the people who have applied, start communicating. Choose to have either a longer e-mail exchange ( 2 to 3 emails) or a couple of short phone calls with them. Make sure that in these exchanges candidates can also ask questions about the job and the organisation. You need to know who they are and how they think. They need to know if they are interested in what you offer. If you hide your actual offering, they might hide their true personality. This is what we want to avoid, and more communication will help us to avoid this common pitfall in hiring processes.
Before you actually sit the candidate in front of you for an interview, you want to already be in a relation of some kind. some candidates may charm you too quickly in a face to face settings. Others may not impress you, if you meet them too soon, but they might be a good fit overall.
Now, candidates will always try to impress and reassure you. This is their job. Yours, as the hiring manager, is to probe, ask, doubt and take your time to decide.
4. KEEP IT ORDERED, STRUCTURED AND PROFESSIONAL
Make sure to keep the in-person interview structured, formal and as similar as possible with each candidate. We all love to have nice conversations that lead to a friendly feeling of connection. But in-person interviews are not the place for this.
Only invite candidates that have gone through the communication exchange described before. It will be like meeting a set of acquaintances, for a formal occasion, and the interview will be better for everyone. This method will also create a level playing field, since all candidates will receive the same questions.
Let's just state the obvious: interviews are moments where you ask the questions and the candidates answers. Interviews are opportunities to ask about their knowledge, results they obtained and past behaviour with people. Interviews are not great for talking about the future, personal issues, wishful thinking and any organisational or personal issues. The candidate is the one in the hot seat, and that is fine.
The whole communication approach I just described can also set a good stage for any further relation you may have with this person. In the end, they may be hired by someone else. They may become a client. The world is full of surprises, but if you treat everyone with respect and as persons you might meet again, everyone wins.
5. GHOSTING CANDIDATES IS OUT OF THE QUESTION
If after having those short intense communication exchanges or an official interview, you decide not to continue in the process, let the candidate know as soon as possible. The sooner you tell them that you will not be continuing, the better. There is nothing worse for a person to be in a relationship of any kind and then to receive only silence. Most hiring managers will claim they don't have the time or energy to deal with those they 'dropped' along the way. You should strive to be different.
If a candidate asks for feedback, your job is to provide personalised feedback for those candidates that invested their time in getting to know you (not every person that sent the application, obviously).
If you do offer a candidate a position, make sure you enter the negotiation phase gracefully as well, since you will now be a close step towards working together. Communication will be slightly different from now on, there may be twists and turns, and people may even change their mind. But that is the topic for another blogpost!
Would you like training on communication and recruitment? Get in touch of discuss the options with me here.
