Public Speaking is like driving

Driving is a skill that most people eventually manage to learn. Experienced drivers aren’t anxious about what might happen to them when they sit in the car every morning. Driving becomes a natural thing to do. They easily forget about how they learned to drive in the first place: the slow confidence building, the occasional fears and tears, their instructor’s shrieks when things got our of hand…Most people even forget how many attempts it took them to finally pass the exam and they assure you they passed it at their very first attempt.

But for some people, including myself, driving is a big deal. The skill doesn’t click for a long time. We need to take hundreds of lessons with different driving instructors. We almost hire a hypnotherapist to get rid of the fears and doubts. And when we get to the driving test our supposed confidence and skill is nowhere to be found. We get very anxious. Or we get paralysed and our legs don’t respond well.

Sometimes the failing goes on for ages. Frustration sets in. But then you need to stop and say to yourself: passing the test is not what counts. What really matters is to overcome your fear and to improve your skill.  You have succeeded when you have mastered the skill to your level of ability and when you are not afraid anymore. Just getting the driving licence will not magically get you there. Confidence alone won’t do the trick for you. It takes focus, determination and continuous learning. A good driving instructor can sometimes coach you to achieve this.

Public speaking is very similar. My public speaking clients rarely know where their fear comes from. Their colleagues and friends, who don’t share the same public speaking anxiety, don’t seem to understand. But if you have an issue with this, I can assure you that looking for personalised help with your fear of public speaking is a very brave thing to do. Being open to honest feedback is important. The determination to master the skill and get really good at it is a key to making it happen. It takes a lot of courage to say: " I am not good at this, but I want to improve. I have something to say and I deserve to be heard".

Just like I needed a great driving instructor, if you fear public speaking you need a person who will understand your doubts and who will gently push you to speak in public. Contact me if you want to know more!